"Reasonless Fear"

Sometimes I am so afraid and I can't put my finger on why. Mirads of thoughts run through my mind like rain rushes down into the culvert collecting all the debris that the storm stirred up. I can't stop the movement of my thoughts and I feel despair.

I know that I am not alone. Others feel like this too I suppose. Can they sort through the undefined fears that plague them too? Is it easier for them? Or is it just me? Do I just need to try harder to not be so scared.

I'm a Christian and I know that I am suppose to have all this faith. Is it my fault that fear gets to me?
As I walk along the flooded streets of my mind I feel two presences. One seems to taunt me by picking up the rubble left by the storm and hurling it at me. I dodge but over and over I get hit and I feel so much despair.

The other presence is still but walks silently beside me. I feel love from Him. And yet I know that I have to ask Him for help. He is gentle and doesn't push Himself on me. I like this about Him. Unlike the other presence He doesn't hurl anything at me. He doesn't remind me of my failures and my fears. He just loves me.

When I choose to focus on the gentle presence the haunting presence retreats. It's like it doesn't have the strength to continue to taunt me. The more I look into the deep love that fills the pools of His eyes. I'm drawn in to them and find myself falling into a deep soft love so strong and sweet.
The fear is only a faint echo of my past reminding me not to turn away from my true love, my God, my Jesus. I sink into Him and feel extreme freedom.

"So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!" Romans 8:14-16 (The Message)